Hello again, dear friends
The other day I decided that it was time I cleaned out my closet. I don’t know about you, but closets tend to be the places I put things that I don’t know what else to do with and inevitably my closet starts looking more and more like a crazy storage unit rather than a place to store clothes. There were boxes of stuff that I hadn’t even looked at since I moved into this apartment two and a half years ago.
When I start cleaning my closet, I begin first by taking everything out and then I go through everything and start making piles: trash, keep, and good will.
Lately, I’ve been realizing that I have a “closet” if you will in my mind where I put things that I don’t know what else to do with. Some of these things are things that I just don’t want to deal with, some of them are past heart-bruises, and some of them are those things I’ve done that I regret most. It’s funny how when I move things to the closet it’s a lot easier to not think of them. Like the closet in my bedroom, though, the closet where I hide my emotions tends to get cluttered and full at at times and need cleaning.
Dear friends, I wish that cleaning this closet were as easy as cleaning my bedroom one. While making the decision that my super skinny jeans from back when I was prettier than I am now will never fit me again might have been a tough one, that decision pales in comparison to sifting through the things I’ve taken care to hide from even myself. The majority of me knows that these things should all be put in the “trash” pile and to move them out and forget about them. They aren’t doing me any good sitting in the corner and what doesn’t do me any good should just be thrown away.
There is another part of me that refuses to let these things go, and I’m entirely sure. Mayhap because more and more recently I’ve the feeling that not only am I coming to the conclusion that I don’t think I want to be with someone for the rest of my life but I’m becoming, as Missy Higgins says, “the bad fruit nobody buys.”
Perhaps I should just let these things go and not let them sit around anymore, cluttering space that could definitely go to better use.
Oh well, sorry for the personal crap.
until next time,