On Being Single

Hello avid readers!

Recently I was talking with a friend of mine and I mentioned that I was happy being single, and he said something to the effect that it it was wrong for me to be happy single. I would first like to qualify that statement and then delve a little deeper into my reasonings behind the aforementioned statement.

First of all, I’m not quite happy being single, yet. That being said, I think that the ability to be happily single is the an important foundation for moving forward and attempting to open ones life up with someone else. It’s a big thing to try and build a relationship with someone, a think that I’ve attempted without much luck in the past.  Through much thinking, writing, and discussions, I finally reached the conclusion that perhaps a solid relationship and harmony with myself was needed before I could realistically hope to establish any sort of meaningful relationship with another person.

Which brings me to another topic I’d like to talk about. This past summer I spent reading philosophical texts on relationships, life, and love in general. What I came away from these texts with was a personal philosophy that at its core requires me to overhaul a lot of the way I live my life. I truly believe that these changes, once made, will make me not only a happier single person, but also enable me to move forward into a relationship when and if I find someone I’d like to take that road with.

One of things that I questioned a lot this summer was whether or not we as humans need to have a relationship with another individual for love, companionship and the like. Not just friendship, but an eros-type relationship.  After much thinking, I concluded that this was not necessary.  It has been said that humans are social creatures, and this statement would tend to contradict my previous statement that an eros-type relationship is not necessary for us.

I don’t think that being social beings requires an eros relationship, instead I think it is important to make a distinction that there are levels of socialization, and that not every human requires the same level of socialization.

Some people open up easily to others, and more often for not this ease of openness translates into the need for high socialization.  On the other hand, there are those people who don’t open up easily to other people, and I think that for them, a few close friends, (but not too close) are all that they require.

Just some food for thought.

until next time,

Jim

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