Hello dearest readers,
Have you ever stopped and wondered what happened between yourself and a friend? Lately I’ve been wondering about friendships a lot, like why we form them, what holds them together, what happens when they go bad. I mean, if you stop to think about it, why do we form friendships? What between two people designates friendship over other forms of relationships? What kind of compulsion forces us to seek out other people to spend our time with and share secrets to? Does that make any sense?
When friendships are in the early stage, what decides when a friendship will progress onward to the more long-lasting bonds or die off into an acquaintance relationship? It seems to me that the bonds are always tenuous at best, but something clearly initiates a bond that isn’t as likely to break at some point. New friendships are very intriguing to me, as try as I might, I cannot pinpoint exactly what brings two people together in that way. Sexual relationships are easier to understand, there is a clear purpose to them. But friendship relationships have so many more variables. People can use other people, confide in other people, be used by other people, or form a truly symbiotic friendship with the other one.
Then too, if friendships get past the earlier stages at progress to what we might label “best-friend stage,” then what can be so catastrophic at this point to break that bond? It seems to me that the bonds of friendship when they do reach this level tend to be strong than that of sexual relationships. They do not dissolve nearly as easily as a sexual relationship, and I think oftentimes friendships that are destroyed are just that: destroyed. Best friends hardly ever just slip back into regular friends or even to acquaintances, something happens to so totally and completely drive them apart that things get ugly.
And this is exactly why it would seem ludicrous to an outsider why we form friendships. We get close to people, tell them our most intimate secrets and then if it ends, we’ve left ourselves incredibly vulnerable.
Just some things I’ve been thinking about, and wanted to explore further.
Until next time,